So right now, I’m eating a clementine and drinking a bottle of lime Perrier because I haven’t gone grocery shopping in a while and I fucking love clementines. I could eat a million of them in one sitting and not give a shit that each one is 50 calories each. However, the one thing that I hate about eating fruit is the SEEDS. Every fruit should be seedless because no one deserves to pause their euphoric fruit eating session to spit that shit out. And yeah, that doesn’t make any freaking sense because HOWCANFRUITGROWWITHOUTSEEDSBAHHH?!?! I know. And I don’t care. I just want to eat my grapes/clementines/oranges/watermelons without stopping. And this is why I am eternally grateful for cartons and bags of fruit that are labeled as seedless.
On that note, I really hate having to chew or cut around bones when I am eating meat. I will always be Team White Meat because there are no frills there. Yesterday, my boyfriend and I took a random trip to KFC because he was in the mood for it and of course, I never turn down anything when it comes to food. We ordered 6 pieces of chicken, some breasts and thighs and shit. When we got home, I grabbed a thigh and immediately regretted it. I had to chew through layers and layers of crispy skin just to find the meat, and even when I did find the meat, there were so many fucking bones in the way that I just gave up. Yes, I gave up my piece of chicken because I was too lazy to eat it.
I can make an exception for wings and drumsticks, because who doesn’t love those, amirite? But other than that, I’ll pass. I also hate steaks with bones in them because I want my steak to be an all-meat sort of thing.
The moral of this post is: someone should invent a de-seedifier so that we could all eat fruit in peace and bones are for dogs and soup.
It happened last year at my friend’s birthday party. I hadn’t seen him in years, so I figured that this was the perfect time to catch up again. He was a little bit tipsy and it was loud as hell around us. The usual dialogue ensued (Hey, how are ya! Haven’t seen you in so long! What have you been up to?!) and he asked me what I was majoring in. I told him Creative Writing and he nodded and said, “That’s a really hard thing to major in. It’s not a common major, but if you work really hard, I know you’ll be successful and happy because you’ll be doing what you love.” Albeit his intoxicated state, his words still stuck with me because it was one of the very, very few times that somebody was earnestly supportive of my majoring in Creative Writing. We were never close friends or anything—in fact, I can count the number of times that I’ve hung out with him on one hand. Still, it was nice to know that I had such a supportive friend.
For the past month, I have been sitting in the same seat in my history class — all the way in the back corner next to an outlet (prime seating, hello). I’ve been coming into class at 8 o’clock in the morning comforted by the notion that I had a nice seat waiting for me where I could half-listen to my history professor ramble on about the Gilded Age whilst reading a montage of books on my Kindle (I have a good GPA, I swear).
Then, this past Monday morning, I came in to class and lo and behold.. there was someone else in my seat. I thought to myself that maybe this was just a one-time thing and that upon my return to this class on Thursday, I’d be as golden as Ponyboy. That was not the case. Someone elsetook my seat and the original thief was forced to sit somewhere else.
Is this a trivial thing to complain about? Maybe. Should I just move on and accept that my seat has been lost in the abyss of thieves and ruffians? Probably. But here’s an equation that will simplify things tenfold AND get you on my side:
Someone else taking my seat = me taking someone else’s seat = someone else taking some other poor bastard’s seat = UTTER ANARCHY
It’s pretty much an unofficial rule of college that after a couple of weeks of sitting in a certain seat, that seat is yours. The college classroom, like the rest of the world, does not have the capacity to handle drastic change very well, so why push it? If it’s deemed okay to take someone’s seat, then what’s next?! I am convinced that this is the catalyst for the world’s descent into chaos.
Let’s not allow our world to fall to shambles. Pick a seat that you know you will be satisfied with for the rest of the semester and stick with it. Otherwise, life as we know it will change forever. FOREVER.
Today, I feel good. I finished my paper for my Roman Civ class and it turned out to be a lot easier than I thought it would be. My prescription for my contacts has finally been finalized and I ordered a year’s supply, so HELLO GOOD VISION! The prospect of going to the gym and getting fit with my boyfriend is definitely a good one. Also, there’s a 50% off discount on all sale items at Forever 21 so I am DEFINITELY jumping on that. Also, I gave my mom’s boyfriend my old nook since I have my Kindle and he was very happy. I’m also really glad that my paper for my Children’s Lit class is gonna be super easy, as well as my American Lit paper. OH, and I’m really excited to watch a documentary called Life in a Day with my boyfriend tonight/this weekend cause it looks great. SO, all in all.. I feel pretty great! Life is treating me well.
